office gift-giving scam

Whoever came up with the idea that we need to give our colleagues a holiday gift should, well, be forced to use each and every one of their own lame gifts they give others.

We're not talking about the good bottles of 12-year-old scotch or fabulous Bordeaux that the executives get and give one another; no, we're talking about the dollar-store-on-your-lunch-break gifts. The under-$10-gifts. Or less.

In all the years of office bad-gifting, we've seen the good, the bad and the very ugly. There have been a few good: like the mixed CD that someone burned for us which helped us pick some new bands to listen to (made by the uber-music geek that had a crush on us, but still). The bad have been more prevalent: coffee mugs, ten-year-old ornaments and bargain-basement chocolates (ripped off from the brand name and filled with horrid innards).

Ultimately, though, there have been a few very ugly gifts. We once received an expired gift certificate. Yeah, that was awkward. And there have even been some over-the-top religious gifts, too - like the scary angel tree-topper who had eyes that followed us around the room until we hid her in the garbage can.

The ultimate in bad office-gifting is the invention of "pixie days". This is when (oh joy) we have the opportunity to be a secret 'Santa' for an entire week, sneaking around and ducking in and out of offices when those around us least expect it. The combination of five days of cheap/tacky gifts bought for someone we barely know while trying to maintain anonymity is incredibly stressful.

This year, dear followers, your Vacant Desk is the participant in another round of pixie days. Of course, the gifts our receiver will get will totally rock. And we'll share with you the slightly sad display of gifts we are bound to receive.

Our suggestion for next year is this: give yourself an awesome gift and to hell with the rest of them. We'll happily lead that conga line.


~ Paige