the big cheese: what kind are you?

Now that we've outlined a few of the different office cultures it's time we identified another of our big challenges. You. The executive, vice-president, top banana, head-honcho.

Whatever you or your organization calls it, there's likely a big cheese floating around at the top of the heap. We're the ones who work most closely with the big cheeses, and we've discovered that cheese comes in a variety of flavours.

Now it's time to play a little game. It's called "Spot Your Cheese". We're going to list a number of types of cheese. See if you can spot your flavour among the varieties.


Cheese #1: The Aromatic Cheese

These cheeses can be pungent, usually having been heavily influenced by other strong flavours. Spending time with overpowering oaks and other loud flavours, this cheese barely retains any aroma of its original intention, instead relying on the branding of others to carry it along. Sometimes strong aromas are employed to distract us from the true flavour of the cheese, which can be very, very nauseating.


Cheese #2: The Middle-Aged Cheese

There's a time to eat an aged cheese - and that's before it becomes crumbly, bitter and grainy. You know what we're talking about. A strong, aged cheese is delicious and pairs wonderfully with a bold, full wine. But there's only a small window of opportunity when the aged cheese is at its peak. Often this cheese is kept a bit too long on the shelf, resulting in significantly unmet expectations upon consumption. When it comes time for this cheese to take centre stage and shine, we're left with nothing but crumbs and an acidic aftertaste.


Cheese #3: The Hip New Blended Cheese

We're all for experimentation, trying new things and taking a less travelled path - heck, we're even known for blazing a few of our own trails. But we can spot a hipster a mile off. Some of the new cheeses are great: dynamic, full of rich flavour and groundbreaking - for a cheese. With innovation comes imitation, and for every great new unique cheese invariably follow dozens of hipster imitators. These cheeses have usually spent a bit of time around some of the more successful blended cheeses; enough time to acquire the initial flavour, but not enough for it to sink into the core. The diversity we expect rests only on the surface. Beneath that could be just about anything, and usually is. Except, of course, for what it presents itself to be.



Cheese #4: The Cottage Cheese

Many people think they can become a great cheese - or make a great cheese. This is almost true. Without the critical elements present to make great cheese we're left with rubbery, insincere and unsubstantial cheese. And it takes more than just the right ingredients to make a good cheese. Those ingredients need to be blended in just the right mixture, aged for just the right amount of time and exposed to just the right amount of external elements to provide the perfect balance of texture, flavour and structure. If you've ever had a bad cottage cheese experience, you know just what we're talking about.


Cheese #5: The Soft Cheese

When we buy cheese, we want to know that we've bought cheese. Good or bad, we need to know it's an actual cheese. No hiding as a cream cheese, either. That's just not fair. You're either a cheese, or you're not. Make up your mind.


There are many other cheeses out there, so beware. These are only a few we've encountered at our Desk. And the cheeses above can be sneaky, pretending to be one kind when in fact they're another. Don't rely on the packaging alone. Cheese can be marketed and branded just like any other commodity.

Once you're stuck with an overpriced or misrepresented cheese, it's difficult to return. In fact, there aren't any places we can think of that will take a cheese back if you've made a poor choice. Best to just plug your nose and dive in.

After all, it's just a cheese. Life will go on after it's gone. And trust us - if it's a bad cheese, it will eventually be gone, one way or another.


~Paige