putting the ship in leadership

We know you've waited for this for a long, long time. Well, at least since September 2009 when we started this blog. Then we hit a hiccup and didn't blog for a while (check the archives). Finally we were ticked off enough to start blogging again. So here we are. What the hell were we saying? Right. The thing you waited for.

It's what you were waiting for before you even knew you were waiting for it. Another blog on leadership. But this isn't just any leadership, see. It's leadership in a language you can understand.

You have a hard time with big words sometimes. We understand. Un-der-stand. So we took a long, hard look at what some of our common denominators were to better communicate with you. The list was short. It was either blockbuster movies of the 90's (because who could avoid them - then, or now on repeat over public broadcasting stations) or Twinkies.

We're sure there's a deep Twinkie philosophy buried in there somewhere, but we thought it might be a bit elevated for your vocabulary. Vo-cab-u-lary. The words you know. Yeah, that's it. Good for you!

That left us with movies from the 90's. There were a number of movies that could fit the bill, but only one stood out. It had everything: guns, tough guys, gals in tight black pleather and awesome visual effects (pretty pictures). And a hero that said "woah".

Welcome to Leadership: Matrix Style.

We took some of the more memorable one-liners and broke them down for the leadership gems that we know they are - in some cases, we made them a bit more leadership adaptable. A-dapt-able. And of course you already know all of these things - you're very smart. Just consider this a bit of a refresher course. Re-fre...oh, nevermind. Just read.


What happened, happened, and it couldn't have happened any other way.
Some may call this circular reasoning, but we call it making the ends justify the means. It's how you explain things not going according to the five year plan. You did a five year plan, right?

How do I know? I know because I'm supposed to know. It's my purpose.
This is a little like those pesky mathematicians when they're asked to define something really, really hard. Their answer: by definition. Since that was taken, we decided this line would be an acceptable substitute.

Not everyone believes what I believe. My beliefs don't require them to.
There's something in here about making the rules of the game fit your style of play, we're sure of it. But we're not sports-game people so we can't write a good sports metaphor for it. Met-a-phor. Go local sporting team.

Why am I here? Same reason as you. I love candy.
When in need of a solid deflection, this one's a good one. It asks the questioner to think about their own reason for being where they are. But not too closely, or they might find a level of discontent. Candy is the well-placed distraction. Have a bowl handy, just in case.

We're only what we're meant to do.
This is one of our favourites. Initially, it could be taken as an uplifting message for someone who might be a bit down on not getting a task completed, or not making it off off Broadway. However, if you look closely, you'll find that it's a nice little limiting phrase. They'll walk away scratching their noodle, for sure. Cookie?

There are only two possible explanations: either no one told me, or no one knows.
If there was ever take-charge kind of statement, this is it. Obviously, you know everything that goes on in your organization. Of course. If not, well, see the explanation above. Circular reasoning, welcome back.

There are levels of survival we are prepared to accept.
Think you know your bottom line? Truly? How low is your bottom line? Oh, come on - you can go lower than that. We know you can. We saw you do that trick at the retreat. You know, the one with the pool cue, toilet seat cover and the dixie cups? Lester had the incident with the hairball after that...

Choice; the problem is choice.
Indecision is a kill joy. Nothing interrupts a good strategic plan like choice. Then you have to consult, and talk to people - maybe even do some revising. Who has time for that? You have a company to run. We recognize that. And so, when all else fails, blame choice. What is choice, anyway? It's neither one or the other. Can't even make up its mind. Huh. Don't you hate that?

Time is always against us. Please, take a seat there.
Enough said.


~ Paige