pigeon hole this

The pigeon hole. The stereotype. Oh, the unspoken expectations.

They're all around us, all the time. And we can't avoid them, despite our best efforts. We try. We've hung our degree in conspicuous places; we talk about our weekend adventures and travels to far-off places. You don't listen. Or if you do, you don't care.

Whatever the reason, we're stuck in a slot somewhere between receptionist, fire fighter, strategist and gopher. Have you ever stopped to think about the knowledge we bring with us? The skills and critical thinking abilities that allow us to circumnavigate the mine field that awaits us each day? Likely not.

There's a good chance you wouldn't listen to us if we told you, so we're not going to. But if you're going to pigeon hole us, at least let us pick the hole.

Here's a list to help you understand just how deep - and dark - those pigeon holes can be.


The Cutie
Bright, bubbly and outgoing, the Cutie disarms those who approach and makes everyone feel welcome. What you don't realize is that there's a flesh-eating dragon buried beneath those dimples. You're being plotted against from the moment you lower your defenses. The Cutie is one of our deadliest assets. We'll get you while you sleep.

The Wiz
Need something fixed? Call on the Wiz. Got a noodle-scratcher and can't find your way out of that paper bag? The Wiz is there, ready and willing to lend a helping hand. You draw us close, leaning on us more heavily as each day passes. Eventually you don't even try to hide how much you rely on us. You start bragging to your colleagues. That's when we shop ourselves around for a better offer; that's when we can bring you to your knees. By then, it's too late. Ante up.

The Caregiver
Caterer bailed at the last minute? The Caregiver shows up with dozens of baked goods, saving your designer-covered ass. Maybe you had a rough day and need to debrief; we'll let you cry - or vent - on our shoulder. We're the best friend that you've taken advantage of for years, the person you cheated off during ninth-grade finals. The Caregiver provides you with whatever sustenance you need. We can also take it away at a very opportune moment - for us, that is. Remember who packs your parachute.

The Bulldozer
You've been screening your calls, when suddenly the Bulldozer appears. We dismiss the pest with one skilled flick of our sharp tongue. Maybe we delivered the bad news you've been avoiding, and now you're unbelievably grateful. Whatever the problem, we've ploughed your safe passage time and again. So often, in fact, that you've ceased looking into the surrounding jungle for danger. That's when we pounce - or threaten to let nature take its course. Better keep us around, just in case.

The Dodger
Always artful, the Dodger has an uncanny ability to tuck you away from danger at the last moment - appearing to save the day, but really just skirting the issue. In fact, we're so effective that we deflect the would-be assault and redirect it to your competitors...internal or external. Doesn't matter. What matters is that the Dodger has become your shifty defense, and you don't know how to protect yourself without us. That's fine. Just know that whatever we deflect might one day boomerang right back at you. Unless, of course, we're compenstated appropriately.


We're none of these, yet we've been slotted as each at one time or another. When we're firm, we're a Bulldozer. One the days we're happy, we're the Cutie. Perhaps you caught us side-stepping an ugly inter-office political shit storm, and you called us a Dodger. It's not important.

Ask yourself one question: could you, in all truth, do any of these things - and all of these things - every day? At any time? We can. Now give us a raise or we'll leave your pigeon hole empty. You'll be amazed at what nasty little creatures gravitate to those deep, dark holes once they're vacated.

Maybe it's better to keep us here.

Yes, that's right. Pick up the phone and call Personnel. Show us the money, honey.


~ Paige