a return to the Desk

Greetings, fellow minions.

It's been a shameful length of time since this blog was updated, but we won't apologize - after all, it's our blog and we'll update it whenever we damned well want to. However, we're sorry for the lack of interesting and fun updates. As the interwebs are a large place, we're sure you've found other things to occupy your time. *cough* *p0rn*

Since last we spoke, we've changed our Desk again. It's another desk in another building, but we're not working for The Man any longer - it's back to the private sector for us. Go team!

A desk by any other name remains the same, if it's not really your desk - the one owned by you, dusted (or not) by you, crowded (or not) by your bills. As long as it's a desk in someone else's space, it will truly never be our desk.

Without going into gory detail (unless you'd like us to), we'll succinctly recap the last several months:

• slaved away for The Man
• got caught in the quagmire of a regular paycheck with good benefits and decent retirement plan
• had a life-flashing-before-our-eyes type of encounter (long story, and we signed a non-disclosure agreement so we won't be discussing that any further)
• found alternate employment
• didn't let the door hit us on the way out

We're still not doing what we'd like, but at least it's less dungeon-y and slightly more civilized. Our colleagues are interesting (not in a make-a-giant-rubber-band-ball kind of way, either). The environment has a certain je ne sais quoi, less institution and more place of business feel to it. 

We make less money, but we really don't give a shit.

Still, the capacity for stupid in an educated and intelligent human being continues to amaze and astound us. Regularly. Daily. Like the printer running out of ink in our 4 day absence and not one person checking the drawers of the shelf under the printer. Without hanging replacement cartridges from the ceiling, we thought the drawer right below the printer would be obvious enough. Apparently not.

It still comes down to a lack of leadership and personal awareness - which money, sad to say, just can't buy. So, despite our move into the slightly less mind-numbing private sector, we remain overeduated and underemployed. Shocking.

Sometimes we think we're just rats in a large, earth-shaped cage, providing entertainment for whatever is beyond the cosmos; because if we're the most intelligent life in the universe, we're so fucked.

~ Paige

gone, but not forgotten. damn.

It happened yesterday. We've been waiting for it to happen since early last week; we're pretty surprised that it took six days, actually. And since yesterday it's happened four times. Four. Shit.

It's the 'employee-didn't-leave-the-company-just-moved-to-another-job-so-we-can-still-ask-them-questions-about-their-old-job' bullshit.

Considering we work for The Man, we shouldn't be surprised that this crap is going on. If we'd left the organization to start a cult in Poland, this wouldn't happen. Does anyone start cults in Poland? Likely not. It gets pretty damn cold there.

Since it's beyond the faking-our-own-death stage, we thought it might be helpful to share with others our unique insight and perspective on this matter. (Okay, fine - this is just a forum for us to vent and rant and we don't give a shit what you think. It makes us feel better to share, so we're going to.)


(email sample #1)
Hi Paige. Just doing a coding block to get this invoice paid and I don't know where you kept the old ones. When you get a minute, could you let me know? Super thanks!
Reply: Have you looked in the filing cabinet or in the electronic filing? Gotta run - we're in training here. Good luck.

(email sample #2)
Hi Paige. About that coding block, thanks! I didn't even think to look in the cabinet. D'uh! Anyways, where do you keep your accounting binder? You know, the one with all the codes we need to use? Super thanks!
Reply: Have you looked on the desk? There's only one binder on the desk. That should be it. We really have to go. Best of luck sorting it out. PS: did you read the note we left? It should explain where everything is.

(email sample #3)
Hi Paige! Hope your training is going well. Yeah, I got the binder - I didn't think it was the right one because it had alphabetical tabs in it. But now that I think about it, that makes sense - way easier to find stuff. Thanks! Oh, by the way, that guy called back and wanted to know what to do about the burnt out light in the hallway. Super thanks!
Reply: Seriously? Change the fucking bulb.

(email sample #4)
Hey, Paige...that was kinda harsh. Is everything alright? I know it must be tough to have to learn all that new stuff and everything. If you need to talk to someone, let me know.
Reply: We're currently out of the office, return date as yet unknown. Our email is not being forwarded in our absence.


~ Paige